The Operation : In Pictures!

WARNING, NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED! CONTAINS IMAGES OF HORRIFIC SURGICAL TYPE THINGS!

Now, i am sure by now the world knows i had a horrible 4 week stay in hospital. The whole of February was stolen from me! Not fair!

Here are some pictures of what's what.

First up, this is my first stoma which was removed on the 28th of January 2009. This stoma was located under my waistline close to my pubic bone on the left side of my abdomen. It was a 'loop' stoma meaning that the top was my 'waste removal' tube and the bottom was basically my ...bottom!

Next up is the mess i am left with. These pics were taken yesterday, 7 weeks AFTER my operation from February 1st 2009 which saved my life.

My stomach was cut open so the surgeon could 'wash me out' and remove any poison from my system due to the fact i was 'toxic'. Afterwards i had drains placed in my stomach and both my left and right sides to drain further poison. I also had a drain placed in my back my final few days in hospital as i had poison around my lung and up over my heart. This is 'possibly' still there. I will find out a week on tuesday after further x-rays. I was on anti-biotic drips for 3 weeks. 3 different kinds. I had one tablet form home with me for a week to kill any further infection.

As you can see, after staple removal some of the scarring opened up and has now 'nearly' healed.

I am all sore around this area and if i walk for long periods i get extremely tired.

The pic above is my old stoma site which was a huge gaping gash (OO-ER!) until recently. These wounds heal from the inside out and take a long time.

Although it doesn't look it, i have lost over a stone, dropped 3 inches from my waist and all my clothes are too big now! And that's WITH a swollen abdomen!

The old stoma site and the other wounds are numb. There is no sensation at all. Top right of the pic above is my new stoma. It is now located under my ribs and is weird! Very sore around it. But necessary. The reason for it's location is due to the fact it was performed as an emergency. No time to chose a 'prime location' and it was basically ripped out through my abdomen and that was that. The new stoma is a 'closed' stoma. One hole. Inside my rectum has been closed off for the moment leaving me with a 'rectal (or anal) stump'.

Although it looks horrible, it is nothing compared to what it looked like immediately after the operation. I cried and cried during week 3 thanks to the pain, morphine, lack of anti-depressants and the fact my stomach is 'squint' forever. Now, i am just glad to be alive.

I know these pics are disgusting, but i am not ashamed and as usual, share my life with you all. I want to show people that stoma's are nothing to be ashamed of and in 99% of cases, they save lives.

I would like to thank all the nurses at Ward 62 in the RAH for all their help. They really were fantastic, especially the night staff and the 'pain control nurses'. The stoma nurses were gems too and even the 'Physio Terrorists' who pushed me into being motivated and mobile. Big thanks to the surgeon who saved my life. Funny thing is, his specialist field is breast surgery! LOL

I know my problems are never the worst but they are part of me and my never ending 'what the fuck is going to happen to that bitch next' saga!

Thanks to everyone who sent me messages of love recently and i hope you all managed to keep your lunch down looking at these pics!

Miss H

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I Nearly Died...Quite Literally

(WRITTEN LAST WEEK AND TODAY)

Hello dears! I am back from the dead. And that couldn't be more true.

I had my 'little' operation on the 28th of January. I thought it went well...

I got home on the 31st of Jan and the very next day i was rushed into the RAH in Paisley where i spent 26 days. You see, i had Peritinitis. or however it is spelt.

I spent the first week of February fighting for my life.High Dependency unit no less! Only the best for this girl!

I knew things were not right when i asked the nurse if i was going to die and he patted my hand and said 'we'll look after you'...My insides were riddled with poison after my bowel leaked inside me.

I now have scar tissue all over my internal organs and a massive big scar down my naval.I have a huge hole where my stoma used to be and a lovely new stoma under my rib cage.After all that, i end up with another stoma.

Not happy, but it saved my life.I really did think i was going to die. In fact, the surgeon told me that if they hadn't opened me up when they did and washed me out, i WOULD have died.I have had one of those life changing oprah-style experiences.

For the first week in hospital, i kept predicting conversations before they happened. I truly was touched by something. Sadly, my 'powers' have gone, but the memory of how close it was still remains.

I will be recovering for a good 6 months. I thank those who visited me and despise those who were so self obsessed they never cared nor realised how ill i was. Thanks to all who sent cards and best wishes.

It's good to be alive!

Oh, i haven't had a fag for 4 weeks!

Jeez!
I have saved a fortune but am gasping!

LOL

Miss H

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******UPDATE MARCH 6TH******

I ended up in the local hospital last night after a massive pounding headache and a severe bout of vomiting.

Might not sound much, but with the state of my abdomen, vomiting is not a good thing!

Turns out i had a 'stress migraine'....I worry too much but the Doc said after all i have been through, it is understandable.

Oh, i am not cut out for this being a patient shite!

Thank fuck for the new Saint Etienne single....makes me 'perky'!

Miss H
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Remembering The 'Rado

By George, That's A Cunt!

Boy George has been jailed for 15 months for handcuffing a male escort to a wall and beating him with a metal chain. I am sure that some kind of appeal will be made and that George will have some great songwriting inspiration from his experience!

The 47-year-old former Culture Club singer, whose real name is George O'Dowd, imprisoned Audun Carlsen during a drug-fuelled naked photoshoot at his flat in Shoreditch, east London.
Sentencing the musician at Snaresbrook Crown Court in east London, Judge David Radford told him he was guilty of "gratuitous violence".

The judge condemned his "premeditated", "callous", and "degrading" drug-fuelled actions which "traumatised" his victim. The judge added: "He was denied his dignity." LOL Has the judge seen this person? He is a fucking scummy rentboy who has been flogging his 'story' to the highest bidder. Not very 'traumatised' then, is he?

Mr Carlsen, a 29-year-old Norwegian, fled in his underpants and alerted police after the attack in April 2007. I am sure he is used to being in public in his pants if certain photos are anything to go by.

Violence had flared after O'Dowd accused Mr Carlsen of stealing photos of himself from a laptop, taken when the pair met three months earlier. As usual, a criminal gets away with crime. George is fair game just because he has been arrested on drug related charges in the past.

O'Dowd has previous convictions for going equipped for theft as a juvenile in 1977, and a Class B drugs offence 10 years later. He was given community service in New York in 2006 after pleading guilty to falsely reporting a burglary at his apartment in the city. I laugh at the 'theft' from 1977 charge. George was 16 at the time. Why was this conviction dragged up? What a fucking joke.

The pair had made contact on the Gaydar website. According to prosecutor Heather Norton, their first meeting went well until the singer suspected Mr Carlsen of hacking in to his computer. As we know, hacking into a 'shags' computer must be okay. Take note gaydar slags.

In the weeks which followed, they exchanged emails in which the singer accused Mr Carlsen of hacking into his computer.

But he eventually said that he wanted to see the younger man again. More fool George as this gave rent-an-arse time to concoct a ludicrous story.

This cunt had no dignity to be denied. He is the lowest of the low and will now make a fortune selling his story worldwide. No doubt he is a 'struggling singer or actor' with delusions of talent.

During the second meeting, things took a violent turn. After calling Mr Carlsen into his bedroom, O'Dowd and another man leapt on him, wrestled him to the floor and started beating him.

Personally, i would have strangled the cunt with a pair of pink legwarmers while listening to some Olivia Newton-John.

George, get an appeal made, get an album out, and try not to become the slapper of B Wing in the meantime.

Miss H

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Bye Bye Bag!

I have got my appointment in for my operation. I am filled with dread and horror and positivity all at the same time.

I need to go for my pre-theatre medical next Tuesday (20th), the day after my birthday!

And then i will be going 'in' on the Wednesday 28th of January for the operation.

I am desperate to be rid of this stoma. One reason, which is so stupid , is that i am desperate to be able to wear what i want.

I want to be able to wear proper knickers that don't need to be pulled half way up to my tits!

I just want this past 7 years to be over with. Close this chapter of my life and move on.

Typically, i have been ill the past week but i hope that this was just a 'bug' and i will be okay for the operation.

I just got a big order of colostomy bags the other day too! LOL

What will happen to the world when i am in hospital? I dread to think!

Oh, it will be all go the next couple of weeks so i appologise in advance if i do not reply to emails, phone calls or whatever.

Miss H
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Lesley Joseph : How It Should Be Done!

I have just watched 'Come Dine With Me' on Channel 4 and am going to applaud Lesley Joseph for NOT bowing down to Botox! She is ageing the way people should. Laughter lines and crows feet show a fulfilled and wonderful life and it is refreshing to see someone so famous looking wonderful WITHOUT surgery!

Lesley is one of Britains most talented and under-rated actresses and i am sad that she is rarely seen on TV now.

Birds Of A Feather would not have been the same magical show without Lesley's portrayal of man hungry slapper Dorien Greene.

Let's all applaud Ms Joseph and worship her legend!

Jade Goody : Still Living. Yawn.

Media Whore Jade Goody has a 40 per cent chance of surviving her battle against cancer. Jade was diagnosed with cervical cancer last August and has accepted she may not survive her fight with the potentially fatal illness.

No doubt whe will 'miraculously recover' after a trip to Lourdes...

Jade states she is 'very poorly' but that does not stop her making new TV shows, flogging naff perfume, shagging men and basically doing everything BUT spend time with her kids...

THAT is the hard cold truth about Jade and sadly, the way her momma Jackie 'One Arm' brought her up...

ALLEGEDLY ALLEGEDLY ALLEGEDLY ALLEGEDLY ALLEGEDLY

How wonderful (!) that Jade has become friends with Wendy Richard. Wendy, as we know, is the legendary Miss Brahms from Are You Being Served? and the god awful Pauline Fowler from Eastenders.

Wendy is facing her 3rd cancer battle and will not survive. Surprisingly, Wendy does not want the world to feel sorry for her 'Jade Style'.

I am surprised no newspaper has picked up on the fact that BOTH women were involved in Big Brother Race Rows.

Jade called Shilpa Shitty 'Popadom'...That is sooo clearly evil to say. Not.

Wendy said something along the lines of 'Chinese, Thaiwanese, Dirty Knees, Look At These, All The Same To Me'!.

Oh yea, highly offensive. If you are a braindead Bollywood star or some fat cunt calling to complain after BB refused to widen the doors to let you compete!

Back to Jade...

I STILL do not care if she pegs it.

I am not heartless, i am being real. Man. Yea, dude.

I did not like her before, and i certainly ain't gonna like her now. So all you two faced cunts who called her 'The Jiggy Miss Piggy' when she was in BB and now say 'Aaah poor Jade' can all beat it!

If she snuffs it she can leave behind a vast catalogue of classics such as flashing her kebab on BB, swearing on BB, giving a BJ to PJ on BB, releasing smelly perfume which smells like a pensioners foreskin, having loads of cable TV shows featuring her 'delightful' brand of shouting and bawling and calling herself 'sane'.

The list is endless really. Don't forget her 'life story' (now in Woolworths bargain bin!). Sadly Woolies has gone, so that classic novel will be burned to cinders! Aaaw. Poor Jade.

I wonder if she knows where East Angular is yet?

Miss H
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